Journeying

If you are a regular reader if my blog chances are you might recall the first post.  It outlined 5 year long goals for me to accomplish, one of which was composing a song that's been floating around in my head. I started the song in January.  It sucked.  I didn't like it.  It was 17 measures of crap.  I never really gave it much more attention. During the summer months on several occasions I just sat at the church piano and played bits of a melody or developed a chord structure.  I never put any of that on paper.   I'm not sure why, but about two weeks ago, I started writing this song.  It's possible that the act of composing the song is helping me deal with the stress elements of my life. I'm not a composer.  I'm a decent conductor, I'm a good teacher, but composing was never my forte.  I haven't written anything original since theory class in college. But I love my song.  It floats and soars, it's pretty to hear and yet I've tried to remind mys

This is not going to be an atypical Thanksgiving post.  Don't be alarmed, and try to be open minded as you read this. Every year we sit down and stuff ourselves full of the good stuff.  Turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing (my personal favorite), pumpkin pie, pecan pie, coconut cream pie... How much longer do I have till lunch? I'm making myself hungry. We "count our blessings" in the manner that we have friends, family, good health, a job, a roof over our heads...etc., etc. But what about the things we don't see as clearly?  I'm thankful this year is almost over.  If another stressful event happens to me in the next month, I won't be surprised.  It seems to be the theme of my year.  "Let's see how far he can be pushed."   In February I posted this:  " In the past several weeks and months I have imagined God saying to satan 'Have you considered my servant Mike?' The same way He did with Job." I still feel exactly that way.  Tes

Several weeks ago I posted a Facebook status about writing a poem in 90 seconds, that I had been trying to write for a week and it just never worked.  Then there was that one moment and BOOM like lightning it was completed and rather beautiful. I was encouraged to share that poem since I had talked about it in a status.  That's not going to happen.  It's too personal and private for public sharing. However I did compose a new one this morning.  This one took about ten minutes total.  It's ironic because the line I hated the most the first time through, has now given me the title. Thanks to my friend Amy T. for reading it so I could have a fresh set of eyes looking at it. Safety Net When there's a smile on your face I'll be there for you When you feel you've lost your place I'll help find you  If your heart is shattered I'm still around If you don't believe you ever mattered I'm here to lift you off the ground Should your life be full of joy and b

This post has been a long time in the making.  About a year and a half ago, a friend sent me a link to a video for the event known as the Tough Mudder.  Tough Mudder is an incredibly intense obstacle/mud run.  I was hooked, I wanted to participate, but to be a realist - there was no possible way I could do that then. So the goal became to enter for the summer 2014 event.  However due to scheduling the 2014 Tough Mudder dream had to be put on the back burner for another year.  Hey, there's always 2015. Over the course of time I came across another event called the Gladiator Rock 'n Run.  An obstacle/mud run not quite as intense as the Tough Mudder, but nonetheless similar.  So I took the challenge. I started getting up early in the morning and going for a run (which was more like a jog).  Often getting out of bed was more challenging than the run itself as those who know me know that I am not and never have been a morning person.  Two awesome friends agreed to participate as wel

It has been several months since I've posted anything, but not for lack of trying.  Several topics have passed through my mind and possibly those will show up in the future.  And since it's my blog I can write about what I want to write about.  Today's topic is something close to me that unfortunately few people in my life understand.   The genre of sci-fi and fantasy is fascinating to me not because of the high-tech weaponry or the magic or the aliens or the mutant powers.  The appeal is featured in the way it shows concepts of humanity we deal with everyday.  Let me choose a common example I think most readers will be familiar with - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This is a poster I found for the 1931 movie starring Frederic March.  And I'll be honest this image is used without permission.  The calm collected outward man versus the inner angry beast.  The two sides of human nature explored in a fantastical way.  But think about it, we all know at least one guy, the one who

A month or slightly more has passed since I had a peculiar dream.  It was like I was watching a movie where I could see the character but the character never spoke, they just narrated over top of the scenes.  Within a few days of receiving this dream, I wrote down the woman's story with as much detail as I could remember.  She is not a character from the novel I'm writing.  In fact, I have never seen this woman in any dream previous, nor does she remind me of someone I know.  This was just a dream.  In years gone by I have experienced dreams wherein a character from my novel tells me about their life.  But this was different.  A friend encouraged me to post the short story here.  Comments are welcomed.  I felt it was difficult to truly express the level of sadness she was experiencing. EMMALEE   ​ I unlock the apartment door, sighing as I enter.  It’s empty.  No noises, no smells, no kind of activity.  Just deafening silence.  I throw my keys down in the fruit bowl.  Grabbing t

A friend said recently, "I think it's time for another blog post.  I miss them." Truth be told I wanted to write a new post but topics eluded me.  There's been a lot going on, and quite frankly I didn't want anyone to assume I was writing to them in hopes they would see things my way.  And that could have easily applied to about 6 or 7 people over the last several weeks/months.  No one deserves to have individual matters called out in a public forum. Monday I found this post on my newsfeed about 100 days of happiness.  I considered not participating, after all I haven't had a full day of happiness in about 3 years.  Don't get me wrong I've had happy moments, happy hours but I'm not certain I can say I've had an entire happy day.  And yes, I remember the last day I was fully happy, and no I'm not telling you, dear reader, about it. So I posted on Monday a picture of my buddy Sarge.   He is a playful, one year old German Shepherd and Black La

Imagine yourself walking through the forest on a breezy day.  The sun shining, the birds singing, the twigs are snapping underfoot.  You hear the leaves rustle in the trees.  Now try to listen to a solitary leaf as it rustles with the others. Most days I really feel that's how it seems when trying to discover voice of God in a situation.  A still small voice, overwhelmed by the rest of the gods (notice the small "g") in our life.  I have situations in life I have prayed days, weeks, months, and in some instances years for clarity.  Yet, I'm left just as confused, if not more so, than when I started. What or whom in my life do I give power to other than God?  Do I trust Him to work out situations for His glory rather than my own?  Am I following after what I want or after what He wants?  These are questions I struggle with daily in a multitude of situations. I read the Bible. I pray daily.  I've fasted for a period of time in an attempt to properly discern the will

This has come up in several conversations over the last week so I decided to blog about it.   Yesterday, I wrote a letter to an old friend.    Now I didn't hand write it; it was 1200 words typed.  It felt good and in all honesty I've been trying to compose it for 4 months but could never find the words.   How many of you still send letters?  Real letters through the postal service I mean. Not emails or text messages or video messages but good old fashioned letters.  I do believe it's becoming a lost art. I have a letter from a former employee of my parents who worked for us when I was about 14.  When she retuned to college she wrote me.  I have letters from my mom and grandma from when I worked at camp I have letters from people I camped with, letters from college friends, letters from other friends. Letter writing can be a useful tool.  In college I was sent a letter from a friend who disagreed with a decision myself and some others had made.  Not certain how to handle it

Anyone who knows me at all will verify the fact that I am not a morning person.  Not even close to a morning person.  I deeply treasure the serenity that evening brings.  The quiet and stillness is breath taking.  It's truly when I feel most energized.  I do recognize the fact that many people feel that same way about morning... I'm just not one of them. Yet, there I was wide awake at 3:45 am.  Now if I'm awake at that time it's usually because I haven't gone to bed yet.  Usually.  I went to bed at 10:30 after a long but productive day yesterday and fell asleep in a relatively quick manner.  So I simply asked "Lord, why am I awake?"  An image came to mind immediately, it was Lulu. In case you don't know me personally I should explain that I live on a dairy farm.  Lulu is a cow.  She's a good sized Brown Swiss that stands in the third stall down from the upper end on the right side of the barn.  And Lulu is due to deliver a baby. It did take me a fe

Good evening!    I've been wanting to write a new blog entry since Wednesday so I apologize for the tardiness.  My hope is to blog once a week. In regards to the goals I mentioned previously- Saving money week two? Check.  Bible reading schedule on track? Check.  Chapter writing?  I haven't written new material but I have changed and edited some previously penned prose.  Song composition? Fail-haven't written a note.  Tough mudder training?  I have lost some weight, but that's not near enough-which leads me to a topic I've been focusing on this week. Emotional Eating I admit it freely-I'm an eater.  Food, glorious food in all it's textures and colors and smells and tastes and sounds is amazing in a word.  In your mind's eye picture a plate of freshly crisped bacon.  Just picture it.   You can't do it can you?   The sense memory you have allows you to smell it, see it, taste it on your tongue, feel the texture of it in your mouth, and you hear the siz

I'm not sure why, but I feel it's time to try this blogging thing again.  I wrote one a few years back, but  felt uncertain anyone but me was reading.  So... I begin anew.      Personally I don't care for new beginnings.  More often I feel it's because new beginnings often mean something previous has ended.  I don't like endings at all.  As January 2014 starts we all focus on our "New Year's Resolutions."  But these are goals we most often never follow through.  I believe as a society we are at a point where we fear accomplishing our goals because then it's over.  The race is run; the dream achieved; the game won.  And when that happens we end up empty.  We forget to forge anew, train for new races, dream bigger dreams, and play a new game.      But like I said, I don't like things being over and finished.  Therefore, it's time to break my comfort zone.  There are things I want to accomplish in 2014.  This blog will be about my journey